We went to see History of Violence tonight. Let me save you $8. Have you seen the trailer? Good, then you’ve already seen the most interesting parts of the movie. Shit, you seen the WHOLE movie.

Why can’t they make good movies anymore?

Its not that the plot was bad, its that it was non existant. You see, there’s this guy, who has (say it with me) a history of violence. Ex-mob type of guy, who has settled down in small town USA. The mob comes looking for him, he doesn’t appreciate it. The end.

Sounds interesting huh? Wrong! I thought it was going to be a Road to Perdition meets The Punisher sort of thing. Small town guy takes on the bad guys sort of thing.

3 scenes. 3! That’s how many moments of action we get. Unless you consider Vigo what’s-his-face running a small town diner to be “action”.

We are unfortunatly treated to a few scenes of another sort. 1970’s style “movie porn”, you know, the kind where if its tasteful it’s not really porn, it “cinema”. Yeah, well I’ve never seen a 69 in a major motion picture before and if this was “tasteful” they can just stop right fucking now. And I didn’t really appreciate the full frontal either.

This was yet another disappointing movies in a long disappointing summer. The only movie I can honestly say I enjoyed was Batman. Other than that this summer was crap. The winter isn’t shaping up to be much better either. The only movie I’m interested in at the moment is Goodnight And Goodluck, the black and white retelling of the Macarthy era.

Anyway, I’ve fallen off topic. Regardless, stay away from the History of Violence. It is not worth your time or money. The movie is weak and leaves you going “that’s it?” at the end. Pathetic. That turd could have been shot by SCAD students over a single weekend and turned in as a midterm project, that’s how little effort it appears went into this movie. The kind of movie where the actors agree to be in it because the movie they were supposed to be in was held up in preproduction and they needed something to pass the time.

Sad. D-