As the great man Lewis Black said, “if it weren’t for my horse”. These kinds of statements boggle the mind. You have to either laugh at them or they’ll make your head explode.

I’ve got two of them for you.

The first was said not 10 feet away from me by a pageant contestant. Not that I’ve ever considered pageant people to be smart… or even slightly educated… but this was a new low. Let me share this little nugget with you:

After a conversation about children…
Make-up Artist: “Yeah, I have a 2 year old, we’ve put her in Montessori school, do you know what that is?
Pageant Moron:”Yeah of course, I went to a Catholic school too…”

I had to leave the room.

Our second genius of the day award goes out to Jeremy Lavine of Period 3 from some random link on the web. A link in our Battlefield team’s forums lead to this page. You can read it for yourselves but I think an excerpt or two is necessary:

“One of the things they have names for is for people who go fishing, go fishing to make a living. If we had a word for this kind of people that word would be “fisherman”. But we don’t.”

When you stand near trees, THEY WILL BE KNOCKED DOWN BY LIGHTNING AND YOU WILL BE KILLED BY LIGHTNING! There is no escape. Lightning will knock down the trees and knock down your soul. Trees are tall.

Oh boy. It occurs to me that these people will eventually have jobs of some sort. I figure that it’ll be really hard to get a decent cup of coffee in a few years. Hopefully they won’t breed.