So, ask me how my new PS3 is. Really. Because I’ll tell you. The Dashboard is really neat. It’s also the only part of the system I’ve “played” in the past 3 days. I got it set up, integrated into my monstrosity of an entertainment center, hooked up to the network, PSN identity created… and then it wanted to update. Good heavens, did it ever want to update. It’s STILL updating. It arrived on Monday and spent most of Monday night “updating”. Tuesday I tried Uncharted 2… which needed to update. 12 200mb+ patches. What the hell is IN 12 patches? I bought the Game of the Year Edition. You know, the one that’s already supposed to have the patches and addons that were put out while the game was in general circulation. Yeah. So, that tells me that, routinely, 200mb of content are updated in my game. Surely the game itself, the core engine and experience, has been polished to a bright shine by now. Surely it’s only the multiplayer that’s getting patched. Are there really that many problems/exploits/map glitches that need patching??? It had to be a fluke I thought.

So, I let it update for most of the evening on Monday (for the system) and Tuesday (for Uncharted). Wednesday, I decided, Wednesday would be different. Yes, this time it would work. I turned it on, only to find that Sony had released ANOTHER update while I slept. So, again, I let it do it’s updating. After dinner I came back to it, hoping this time, to actually play a game. I decided to try Little Big Planet, yet another Game of the Year edition. With it’s more casual appeal, I was certain it wouldn’t need to be patched nearly… as… WTF, ANOTHER PATCH! Actually, no, ELEVEN patches. All between 50-200mb.

Now I can see why the system ships with 160gb hard drive. If you have, let’s say, more than 10 games, you’re pretty much out of space because of all the frigging updates this thing needs!

I have never, ever, in my entire existence and vast experience with video games, ever seen anything need the number of patches that this does. I keep repeating the word EVER to drive the point home. This system has, literally, more patches than WINDOWS. There, I said it. Microsoft, I salute you for being frugal with your system updates. I never thought your constant, nagging, endless stream of security patches could be out-matched, but they indeed have. Sony takes first place.

I can only speculate that it’s a reaction to being hacked by LulzSec. If not, and they patch this often, then there’s something seriously wrong. For the love, LBP does not need over 1G in patches, on top of whatever patches already shipped with the GoTY edition. There’s simply can’t be that much to patch, can there?

So, tonight, I’m hoping to actually try and play a game. I don’t have any more disks to put in that could possible impede my gaming tonight. No system updates, no game updates. We’ll see what this thing actually has under the hood. I’m excited to try it. I just hope I actually get to play something at some point. At the very least, I could make a mini-game out of the loading screens. “See that honey? The green line is inching closer to the finish! Go green line, go!”

UPDATE: PSN scheduled maintenance today in US. Ahahahahahaha. Seriously????