Where the hell have I been?

by Matt | Feb 27, 2014 | Personal

That’s a fair question. I just wish I had a more interesting answer. Right here. I haven’t gone anywhere. I’ve been busy worrying, planning, contemplating, and trying to float in a sea of uncertainty.

My company is “re-organizing”. Anyone that’s seem Office Space knows that that usually means huge trouble. In this particular case, I worked at the top of a holding company pyramid, with multiple sub-companies. Those smaller companies are getting sold out, divided up and only the primary company will remain, revamped into competing in a new market.

You would think that was a good thing. Being at the top, it would sound like I’m safe. The problem is that 99.9% of my work is/was for those smaller companies. We were a “service” to any sub-company that needed our help. The smaller companies either want to hire their own people (cheaper, fresh out of college people), or just don’t have the budget for us as a whole. Also, the original parent company, while needing some services, certainly doesn’t need an entire department, and especially not full time/salaried employees.

I’ve talk with people from multiple departments. We’re all facing this together. Any group that was a overhead/corporate function is in the same boat. HR, IT, Accounting, etc. Everyone is either getting split up, reassigned, or let go.

So, I’m sort of freaking out.

People in IT have told me I’m “essential” to web operations, and not to worry. People in the proposal teams told me I’m helpful to their efforts, and not to worry. People in the software divisions tell me they’ll still need my help, and not to worry. It’s hard not to worry. Each and every one of these people, if given the choice, would save their own people (and rightfully so) before sticking their neck out for someone in another department. That’s not a fault of theirs, just a reality of the corporate world.

It seems so draining, so cold, so uncaring. The people at the top, selling companies, shifting board members, only care about paychecks. Who’s going to get paid for what. People are a line item. A column in an Excel spreadsheet.

I’ve been told to “hang on”, that “good things are coming”, that we’ll be “taken care of”. I don’t believe that for a second. Still, I hang on. I wait.

I’m preparing as best as I can. Like a hurricane, you can’t really be sure how it’s going to affect you. You stock pile supplies, gather resources, make sure all the loose ends are taken care of, and you wait. The storm may pass you by, leaving little damage and bringing blue skies. It also may completely decimate your house. Gotta be prepared for both. The resumes are refreshed, the portfolio is getting updated soon, linkedin is saving job searches (just in case).

So, that’s where I’ve been. On the corner of “Freaking Out” and “Hoping for the Best”.

Baseball cards seemed rather moot under the circumstances.