by Matt | Feb 1, 2008 | Aggravation, Personal
The trouble with Quiznos is not that it exists, which, is a argument some people might make, especially hungry people wanting something that resembles a sandwich in what a sane person might call a timely manner. It’s not their menu, they’re ingredients, or their sandwich making prowess either, all of which might be valid points in their own right but aren’t the main crux of this discussion. No, the problem with Quiznos is their amazing ability to completely fuck up a sandwich is you don’t pay strict attention to the process along the way. Being diverted momentarily to the chip rack, contemplating soup instead of the afor mentioned chips, looking longingly at the bottled drink cooler even though you know its more economical to get the obligatory combo, all of which will cause instant fuckery with your sandwich. It also doesn’t help that the Quiznos counter is designed in such a way as to create a seemingly impregnable barrier between you the customer and the sandwich being made for you. Sneeze guards so high that you can’t see any of the ingredients, counters just high enough to make those sneeze guards ridiculously high in the first place, and stickers, adverts, menu options and nutritional facts stuck all over it to the point that it might as well have been a solid wall to begin with. So, hungry customers such as myself are left with two options: to either stand on our tippy toes, making sure that the “zesty ranch” gets put on your chicken sandwich as it should be or slinking down the counter in defeat whilst the sandwich barista slathers regular mayo all over it. At this point of course you still haven’t been asked what you actually want on your sandwich, nor will you be. This is apparently against Quiznos regulations. No, you’ve ordered your sandwich and now it’s on auto pilot through the construction process. First the meat needs to be weighed. Not, of course, to ensure you’re getting enough, but rather to ensure that you’re not getting one speck more than you’re going to be gouged for at the register. There is a theory which I believe to be true that state that a “sandwich artist” would rather add their own finger to the pile of meat on the scale than to dip back into the ingredients to get more. They are however, completely content with cutting a 1/8″ piece of chicken in half and removing the extra 1/16″ so as not to upset the scale gods.
This is at least a more sane process than Subway which doesn’t necessarily weigh but certainly counts the elements on your sandwich. The last time I was in a Subway the conversation went something like this:
Me: Can I have some black olives on that please?
Them: Sure… (adds THREE olives to the sandwich)
Me: Umm, actually, can I have a few more?
Them: Sure… (adds THREE more olives)
Me: Actually, I quite like olives, can I please have a few more?
Them: *silent stare* (adds TWO more olives)
After a few minutes of this I gave up. In the time I had been standing there I had managed to acquire a measly 15 thin slices of olive. Glued back together they wouldn’t have fashioned a reasonable attempt at a dirty martini, let alone a sandwich for anyone hungry, but I figured it wasn’t worth the jail time to try and get more. Not that I couldn’t have worked it out, but I had visions of the police pulling me off dead sandwich makers, their mouths stuffed with fistfuls of black olives, shouting “that’s how you make a sandwich you bastards.” I digress.
By this point your sandwich meat has entered the warm liquid bath. No one really know what it is, but they seem completely content to dip every type of meat imaginable into it to make it slightly warmed and considerably more moist. This is a direct violation of both the laws of nature and the sandwich makers third law of structural bread integrity. Soggy food makes for soggy bread. That’s ok by Quiznos standards because the sandwich is about to take a trip into the heat tunnel. Calling is an oven is a gross mischaracterization. It could be cold, it could be hot, it could be the housing for a tiny thermo-nuclear device, we’ll never know because usually its not turned up high enough to make, well, toast, let alone toast and entire fucking sandwich.
At this point your sandwich has come to room temperature, which is apparently what they were aiming for, because now it exits the tunnel and is handed over to the vegetable portion of the trip. The employee that’s station here must have the easiest job in the world. I say this because it consists of completely ignoring the station at which they are standing. You don’t actually get any lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, or OLIVES without asking. Even then you have to catch them trying to wrap up your sandwich before they have a chance to do so. You’ll never actually be asked if you want anything and once that sandwich is wrapped you can forget about them opening it back up to correct it. Then your sandwich, which is nothing more than pre-measure meat and mayo, is wrapped and taped and handed to you along with a $12 bill, because of course you just needed to have that tea in the bottle and not the tea from the soda fountain.
By now you’re wondering why how on earth a place like this could stay in business when they’re so completely dense. Then you remember that the reason you’re here and not across the street at Subway is because you wanted a “real” sandwich and not one of those corporate sell out sandwiches. Then you feel bad about thinking mean things about Quiznos, pay and head back to your office where you realize that all you have is meat and bread, soggy bread at that, and wish you had the time to go back there and yell at those guys because they really are complete fuck-ups. You’ll of course forget about every bit of this by the next time you go in because all you really want at that point is lunch and surely it can’t be as bad as last time.
by Matt | Jan 11, 2008 | Aggravation, Web
More scraped content from here is appearing on another site. It’s just such a joy to have to track down a host and write a C&D letter just because some toolbox decides to set up an “autopost” wordpress install. That’s why, starting now, I’m including a nice little message in my RSS feeds thanks to RSS Footer.
You can’t really stop these assholes from doing it, but at least my name and website (and little message) are plastered all over each entry. So, if they scrape them now, they get not one, but 3 links back here.
For those of you playing by the rules, all you’ll see in your RSS reader is a quick message before the normal content:
“Post from: DocHoloday.com. If you’re reading this on any other site, you’re reading stolen content. Web scrapers suck.”
Die scraper die!
by Matt | Jan 5, 2008 | Aggravation, Personal
I have huge problems with the electoral process in this country. Actually, I have more of a problem with the electoral coverage by the media, but that’s another rant for another time. This will be my one and only statement from now until long after the primaries. I hate politics, politicians anything political and most of all partisan. The entire process is flawed and anyone that’s taken 10th grade social studies can back me up on this.
(more…)
by Matt | Jan 3, 2008 | Aggravation
I have so much dislike for BestBuy that I find it hard to believe that anyone else shops there. Somehow I think that my hatred for that store must certainly transfer to other people, even strangers. There’s a disturbance in the force at that place. Some black hole to retail hell from which horrible customer service demons escaped from and have yet to be put back. Last night simply reinforced my desire to see that chain put out of business.
Most people who do any sort of shopping for me have already, long ago, been warned not to buy me anything from there. Unless I’m desperate, I strive to never step foot in there, even if it’s to return something. This is exactly why.
I received a duplicate copy of Assassin’s Creed over Christmas, a most generous gift from a good friend. Realizing that it was in fact a duplicate, he generously provided the gift receipt as well. So, last week I walk in BestBuy hoping to exchange AC for a copy of Mass Effect. They were unfortunately out on the shelf but I managed to find an employee who grudgingly looked it up in the system for me. They were going to get more this week. He also let slip a little gem that I should just hold onto my game and do an even exchange later (once the game was in stock) because they could no longer, even with a receipt, get a refund. Nope. All returns, even those completely unopened, with a receipt, will now only get store credit. That right there is complete bullshit. I almost jumped his shit for that but I figured that since it was “policy”, the twerp I was dealing with didn’t have any hand in it, so I restrained myself from beating him to death with his own smug attitude.
So, last night, as I’m driving home from work I decide to call and see if they’ve gotten any more in. I get a random, teenage sounding, bimbo with an attitude problem that informs me that the computer says they have some. I ask her nicely if she could check the shelf since the computer said they had some last time and they clearly didn’t. Aside: I firmly believe that it’s Best Buy policy to never be “out” of something. Every time they’re “out” of something, their computer shows “1 copy” left in the store and I’ve gotten the response multiple times from different associates that “someone must be walking around with it” or “someone must have just bought it”. Anyway, the response I get on the phone is a mini-laugh, sarcastic “no” and a prompt hangup. They actually hung up on me when I asked them a question. I just knew this was going to be a good trip.
Hoping for the best I went in anyway, getting my obligatory “I didn’t steal this” sticker from the high school football player dropout security dork, after which he tells me to “walk directly to Customer Service”. I don’t like being told when and where I’ll walk, so I figure “fuck this guy” and make a beeline for the game section. I figure I’ll save myself the inevitable walk back to the game section anyway once the returns desk monkey tells me to go get the game I want. Halfway back from the game section towards the returns desk I see the security kid looking for me. He sees me once I get closer, looks at me and says “I though I told you to go to customer service”. I pause, look at him, and in the most even tone I can muster through my gritting teeth, say “and I honestly didn’t give a shit” as I ignore him and make a point to walk around him. He gives up and walks back to his post. A good idea on his part.
So now the waiting begins. You see, this is Best Buy, and at Best Buy they’re brilliant enough to have ONE person working the return desk the week after the holidays. But it gets better. Not only is this the returns desk, it’s also the “financing and reward zone” desk. So, in keeping with the visit thus far, the guy at the counter is trying to return a laptop and arguing with the girl about a “restocking fee” and the next guy, the guy in front of me, is applying for a Best Buy credit card and trying to buy a new big screen TV. That wouldn’t be such a problem except there is ONE person working with ONE register and that register is now busy doing a 15 minute credit check instead of it’s normal exchanges and returns duty. By the time I actually get to the counter there is, and this is no exaggeration, 12-15 people behind me. There was 2 when I walked in. It took that long to do that fucking guys credit check.
Now I’m at the counter. I hand the girl both games and say “all I want to do it exchange this game for that game”, pointing at the correct games. Ok, not a problem, all is good until… she scans the receipt. “I’m sorry sir, the gift receipt says that the game was bought on sale, if you want this one you’ll have to pay X amount more”. I blink, then blink again, “what?”. “This game was purchased for $37.99, so that’s all I can give you”, she says. Now, I fully understand the concept. I really do. And I’m not complaining about the amount spent, or the amount I got, because that all makes sense. But Best Buy is simply going to take off the sticker and put it back in the shelf for $60. I look at the girl and ask, “what if I didn’t have the receipt, what if I just got it and don’t have the receipt, how much would you give me then?” Then she falls into corporate drone mode and gives me this long bullshit speech about how she can only return it for what was paid for it and all this crap. I keep thinking the entire time that if I walked in with an un-opened copy, without a receipt, the would have to give me the current retail price for it. But because I have this gift receipt, suddenly the universe is tipped on its side and that simply can’t happen. I realize that there’s no point in arguing with the trollop at this point because shes just going to regurgitate more rhetoric from the Best Buy play book if I do. I was so mad I was turning red. I pay the extra $20 anyway and leave, or, at least I try to.
When I get to the front, where the shop-lift-o-matic sensors are, they go off. Bimbo at the returns desk didn’t run my game over the magnet. So, of course, Skippy the “already angry at me” security guard has to play tough guy, ask me to walk back in the store so he could check my bag. I almost considered walking out, but I figured that would just cause more trouble. I really wanted to fuck with them though. So, after he takes my bag, finds the receipt, triple checks it and hands it back to me with an attitude I decide that I have, in fact, had enough of Best Buys bullshit.
I ask to speak to the manager. There isn’t a manager on duty tonight Skippy tells me. Bullshit, “there’s always a manager, where are they?” I ask. They left early according to the kid, so I ask for the district managers card/phone number. I get it and leave a more than nasty message on his voicemail. I’m not expecting a call back any time soon.
I’m simply not understanding how a company with such poor customer service, such poor business practices, such a horrible return policy and most of all such high prices, continues to stay in business. They must have zero overhead or something. That’s the only way. Because, by my estimation, the 20 people in the store last night were ALL at the returns desk and they were ALL pissed off. Someone must be buying a crap-ton of DVDs in order for that company to stay afloat. They certainly deserve to go under, and I’m just doing my part to tell everyone what absolute morons they are and urging everyone to stay clear away from that store. Don’t give them your money. They don’t deserve it. I can get better customer service at any other store you can think of and be just as happy to spend my money there. Screw’em. The boycott continues…
Matt out.
by Matt | Nov 27, 2007 | Aggravation, Web
Something has come to my attention, brought sharply into focus yesterday by a couple of revelations regarding this web site and spam traffic. It seems that my website, your website, potentially any web site that is accessible through RSS and more specifically, Google RSS syndication and reader, is potential bait for the newest, and in my opinion, lowest form of internet thievery.
The topic of people stealing someone else’s content and using it as their own has been around for a while and quite the hot button topic as of late. All sorts of web pundits have weighed in on what it is, how annoying it is, and how we need better anti-spam features to combat it. Some even offer suggestions on what do to about it. The most common answer is to contact their host and they’re ad revenue source.
I say all this because over the past week or so, I’ve been victim to this exact crime, and not by a person, but by a web scraping script.
The sad thing is that I’ve tracked down the exact person responsible and their host refuses to do anything. It might actually take legal action to resolve this issue.
I’ve decided to lay it all out for you here, in hopes that someone else might be able to prevent this from happening to them.
At the start, I received a few trackback spams, nothing out of the ordinary. I simply deleted them out of my moderation que, just like any normal person would do. Then I got some more, and I started to realize they were all coming from the same link. Being the curious sort, I followed the link to a website where, so far, three of my posts are being used, in excerpt form, to generate ad revenue for someone else. Immediately angered, I traced their site to their host, LiquidWeb. I contacted Liquidweb yesterday about the stolen content and link spamming. I made it very clear that stealing content is against copyright laws and falls under the DMCA. The “abuse” department at Liquidweb told me that they saw nothing wrong with the posts and that it wasn’t their problem. I’ve since sent even more pointed emails back to them but have yet to hear anything.
Still wanting to get to the bottom of this, I starting poking around their website further. I was being ripped off by a sub-domain, so I went a level up. It’s there that I read the following:
“Go away! This WPMU installation is private. You can’t sign up, and there’s nothing to read here. This is my experimentation blog. A place where I can test things out without any outside interference. Okay. Bye now.”
And, on a second page…
“I have to laugh a little, as I never envisioned someone bothering to read my “Go Away” post. Lo and behold, Dan of Dan Q’s Blog did and was even kind enough to link to me. So, I figured that I could return the favor.
He mentions the weird names of authors in the posts. I get a lot of comments about that. To be honest, the script I’m using for the auto-posting was not written by me, so I’m not sure where it gets those names.”
This tells me two things. First, that I’m not alone is being ripped and second, that it’s a script written specifically for auto-posting. This link to Dan’s website, which I kept in the quote, says basically what I’m saying now. That they’ve had posts duplicated and spammed by trackbacks. The website in question on Dan’s website is in fact the exact same one I’m dealing with. I won’t give them the satisfaction of linking to it.
Digging deeper, there was an update to Dan’s post:
“Apparently the mastermind behind the whole scam (handle “SEO_Mike”) explains it here.”
Well, now that’s just the jackpot in terms of information. According to SEO_Mike, there’s quite a bit of money to be made by “RSS scraping and auto blogging” as he calls it.
They even decide to run a little contest and see who can make the most money. There are quite a few interesting tid bits you can gleam from that forum:
“I’m going to participate in this as well using a WordPress mU setup”
“The blogs I just set up are off the top of my head or ideas taken from various sources. SearchEngineWatch has a good list of sites to get ideas from.”
“I’m going to be using Adsense primarily for these blogs, and some targetted CPA ads (mostly from Copeac, of course). The site is setup on a LiquidWeb VPS account, so I should have plenty of room to grow.”
“The goal of the sites is to make money. Period. So don’t get too attached to one site / one idea. Diversify. This is about numbers and doing something.”
I’m so angry, I actually feel physically ill. I haven’t felt this mad since someone threatened a member of my family when I was a teenager. I’m going to keep hounding Liquidweb, as they are directly responsible for this website being operational. I’m also going to pound on Adsense and Copeac and get their ad revenues pulled.
I can’t actually express in words my anger at the moment. This bullshit has got to stop. It’s time for the internet citizens to get their pitchforks and torches.
by Matt | Nov 17, 2007 | Aggravation
For the second time in less than four posts, I’ve had trackback spam with a portion of my article stolen. Now I’m getting pissed. Not only is everything I write on this journals technically copyrighted, but these turds of the internet are trying to increase both their trackback links and their search engine results off of my stuff. What’s worse is when google/yahoo/ms finds out about a spamming site, they often penalise the TEXT. So, not only does the spammers google rank get dropped, so does mine, because it has the same text in it.
I’ve reported the last two to their ISPs and deleted the links. I don’t know what else to do. I could try and issue a DMCA take down notice, but I doubt it would get me anyway. There is a special ring of hell reserved for spamming assholes.
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