Extra Super Bonus Achivement

Let’s talk achievement points for a second because there’s something I need to get off my chest. This is aimed directly at game developers and whoever is the liason for said developers and the XBL team. What the hell is up with achievement point being 100% fucking impossible to get. Although there’s a site that offers tips and tutorials on how to get all 1000 points out of your game you either have to be a 14 year old shut in with 4 thumbs, unlimited bandwidth, a friends list 500 people strong and a constant IV supply of Red Bull, or some sort of fucking zombie gamer.

I like the concept of achievement points, I really do. I have a few myself as you can plainly see. It adds an extra little icing onto the cake you were already going to eat to begin with. I play video games for two reasons: A) for entertainment and/or some sort of “leisure sport” and B) to finish them to my satisfaction. Achievement points are like a 50% “street cred” and 50% “thank you for playing” in my eyes. I was already going to finish Mass Effect. It was on my to-do list. Getting 100pts for doing what I was already planning on was just a nice bonus.

What becomes bothersome is that points and accomplishments aren’t relative. For example, Guitar Hero 3. I’ve beaten Guitar Hero 3. How many points do I have out of the 1000? 70. I’m sorry, but beating a game should give you 700-900 points out of that 1000. Another example, Rainbow Six, I beat R6 in both modes, solo and co-op on HARD, played online quite a bit and I have a whopping 355 out of 1000 points. And the most ridiculous example as of late, Mass Effect. I finished Mass Effect, playing through what I felt was a healthy percentage of the side missions, and I’ve got 435/1000. Chip, who I know is a consummate and dedicated gamer, who probably did way more side quests than I did, only has 515.

The problem is realistic re-playability and, for a large percentage, online play. I know for a fact that I’m never going to go back and play Halo 3, Skate, Gears of War, and the like, online to the extent that I get all the unlocks. It’s impossible. I can see maybe being dedicated to a game, maybe two, but playing Halo 3 enough to earn the rank of “supreme douchlord” or whatever it is, and getting the measly 20 points for it requires the player to have absolutely no life at all. Same thing goes for offline games like Mass Effect. To get the other HALF of the points for playing the game would require not one, not two, but at least 3 complete game play throughs (40+ hours X 3) on Legendary. That’s retarded.

Average players will play a game once, strait through. Games with Co-Op might get 2 or 3 turns. Games with a large percentage of its action in multiplayer mode will get played until the next multiplayer game comes out if you don’t hang it up sooner.

If we are rewarding the playing of the game itself, shouldn’t the completion of the game warrant the majority of the points? Don’t make me go back through the game to collect flags/coins/items over and over again for a disproportionate amount of points. Some points sure, but not HALF.
Let me say that I have no problem with the existence of these achievements. I think it’s a handy tool developers can use to add a little replayability to a game but they should be worth something like 5 points and all but the most hard core of gamers should be insane enough to get them. I finish a game, I should have 950 points. If I really want to keep playing, and collect bullcrap items, then I can finish off those last few points.

Having a total completed game, beaten in multiple ways, yeild 200 points or less is an insult to the gamer. That’s like saying that really hard game you just beat was nothing. Nothing. Yup, you saved the universe, captured the castle, stopped the alien horde, here’s $0.25, nice job. It’s demeaning. “No, I saved the fucking planet, rescued the girl, killed the ultimate bad ass, it’s time for a friggin reward!”

I couldn’t tell you how pissed I was when I finished Gears of War, beat General Raas, saved the day… and got a pathetic 10 points for it. I’ve counted, and Gears has 57 possible achievements, 27 of those are online only. That’s insulting to the people who don’t want to pay for XBL.

What really really chaps my ass, and was the main reason for todays rant, is the existence of hardware specific achievements. Yup, I’m talking about the XBL Camera. It’s sad that game makers are forced by the Microsoft marketing department to put in achievements for this piece of crap. It’s 640×480 and it’s $40! All so you can get the last achievement in Burnout. What’s worse is that some of Burnout achievements are tied to OTHER people having this crappy camera. You get achievement points for collecting “mug shots” of other players when they lose. That’s bullcrap. Now, not only do you have to have one, now your friends do too? Come on.

I’m going to finish Burnout, it’s a great game and I’m playing it because I enjoy it (which is the point). But when I beat it, by rough estimate, I’ll have 600 points. There’s simply no way for me to get the rest. Getting the rest would require things like 8 player co-op racing (friends not internet strangers), a XBL camera, and 50 other people to have the same camera. That is never going to happen. Not ever.

That’s sad.

Achievement points are nice, but they’ve completely warped the sense of accomplishment you get for “beating” a game. I can see what they’re doing. They know the demographic they’re targeting and they’re egging them on. They’re saying “you think you’re good, you’re not that good, try harder”, and for a gamer, that’s like messing around with their sister. Something needs to be proven, someone needs to be beaten, contests need to be won. Gamers are competitors at their core. Saying “you’re not good enough to finish” is a slap in the face.

I’m glad that I’m (mostly) able to resist it. I’m glad I’m not concerned about going back and finishing games that I played months/years ago just for a few stupid points that literally mean nothing. There’s nothing in achievement points. They exist to give the gamer a sense of accomplishment. But if your sense of accomplishment is satisfied with merely playing the game to the best of your ability, then you have nothing to fear. Points are meaningless to you.

What worries me are the kids online right now, playing Halo 3 until 4am, trying to get those last points in, thinking that that’s what they need to do to “achieve”. Somewhere between Mario level 8-4 and today we’ve lost what it means to game in the first place. Stupid points have replaced good old fashion feelings of accomplishment when Bowser final dies. I would love to see a game in the future, for the 360, come out with 1 achievement, worth all 1000 points, just for finishing the game.

That would be perfect.

2007 Game of the Year

So what if it’s the middle of February, that’s how long it’s taken me to wrap my head around the gaming that was 2007. It was a big year for gaming, well, console gaming at least. PC games had their share of excellence, just unfortunately not as numerous as the consoles.

It’s very hard to pick a favorite game of 2007. I played, roughly 15 games that could, at any given point, have taken home “Game of the Year” honors. All of the following came out in 2007 and deserve a nod towards excellence in one category or another: Bioshock, Team Fortress 2, Call of Duty 4, Halo 3, Rock Band, Mass Effect, Guitar Hero 3, Forza 2, Ghost Recon 2, skate, PGR4, Assasin’s Creed, Portal, HL2: Ep2 and Crysis.

For shear amount of “time spent” I was prepared to buck convention and give the nod to a game like Skate. It’s all consuming, fun to play and just “feels right” which is a very important characteristic to have when you’re trying to simulate something as free form as skateboarding. Bioshock certainly dazzled me in terms of it’s level design and overall feel. It’s engaging story, atmosphere and gameplay really make Irrational Games (may they rest in peace) one of the great developers of all time. Then there’s Valve. Sitting here wearing my “The Cake is a Lie” tshirt, it’s hard to argue that if Irrational is “one of” the best, then Valve IS the best. There’s little doubt. No single developer has time and time again delivered such beautiful, high quality products. Everything from the original HalfLife right up to Portal has literally shaped the way I play and enjoy video games. There is no bar higher.

That might sound like I’ve already decided a winner, but there are a few more games to consider. Call of Duty for example, was without a doubt the best entry into that series. It’s multiplayer (especially on XBL) is so mind-numbingly simple to get involved with that it deserves major points. Not to mention the fun the single player campaign was. Mass Effect was also brilliant. I would have considered giving it the nod but realizing it’s merely the first in a trilogy assures me that the best is yet to come. Everything else is icing on the delicious slice of gaming cake… which is a lie…

So, does multiplayer win out over story telling? Does FPS trump all? Do you want me to just shut up and tell you?

Envelope please….

And the winner is….

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Game Review: Guitar Hero 3

It seems long overdue to return to the roots of my web personality. It’s been a good long while since I’ve reviewed anything in full, or made fun of something for that matter. With a slew of new games for Christmas, now that I’ve put a good dent in most of them, it’s the perfect time to start up the sarcasm engine and take a ride into review town. Hold onto your mullets kids, first stop is Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock.

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MGC Leaderboard

I updated my gamer card (on the right) with a “last game played” option as a background. As I was doing that I noticed that you could make your own customer leaderboard. I thought it might be fun and added everyone who’s in my XBL friends list. Together we’ve amassed over 14,000 achievement points. Way to go team!

My army grows

My good buddy Dane just called me last night and told me he was setting up his new 360 as he spoke. That’s one more for Matt’s 360 army. I’m going to institute a Wednesday game again if it friggin kills me. He also picked up Call of Duty. Once my brother gets online when he gets back to college, that’ll make five close immediate friends who all have a 360 and CoD4. That’s never happened before. You guys are the ones with the new console, but this is like Christmas for me. The closest I’ve come is 3 of the TCC members having Gears of War, but there was just something about it that didn’t lend itself to casual gaming. Now we’ve got a real shot at some fun.

So, listen and repeat after me and probably to your wives/girlfriends:

“Wednesday is my game night. I play video games with “the guys” on Wednesday. I work hard and deserve some game time. Wednesday is my game night”

Just keep repeating that to yourself until it sinks in.

Chip’s on the verge, Matt is considering one as well. Now all we need is Chris and our team will be complete. lol.

Style

One thing I value ahead of all else is style. I say that with italics to emphasize the need for it. I collect things with style in my personal life. I have a collection of Kenneth Cole watches, not because they are good watches (which they are), but because they all have a distinct retro, 50’s vibe that I really dig. I have old baseball art work (Ted Williams drinking a Moxie), old movie posters (original Casablanca poster) and retro style clothes. I don’t really know why. I just really like the look and the feel. There’s something tactile about it all. Something real. Anyway, I’m rambling. What I really wanted to mention was that I found a whole plethora of art work right up my alley. Check this stuff out…

The Valve Store.


Man, those guys at Valve have an awesome art department.